As one would expect from a Disappointing Love Story, this one involves dashed hopes, fruitless attempts to just make it work, and inevitably, an ending laced with ambivalence. But some things just can’t be patched together with gaffa tape and cable ties.
This particular story symbolises the end of my relationship with Knog.
For the last two years I have been committed to their range of pink jelly bike lights (specifically the 2LED Beetle front light and 4LED Skink rear light), and true to my nature, in spite of the many hurdles that we’ve come across, I’ve toiled on and somehow we’ve got by. That’s what you do when you really love something.
Alas, my patience has worn thin and after my fifth Beetle (my cat loves to chew on the elastic used to attach the light to your bike), and my fourth Skink (a combination of eaten by the cat, fell off and pinched), I’m beginning to think that it just isn’t meant to be.
Today may well have been the last straw. My cat-chewed Skink was tightly strapped to my bicycle Fly with two cable ties when I parked up in Soho to see Umbrellas of Cherbourg at the Gielgud Theatre. Needless to say upon my return at the end of the show (glorious! by the way) drunken royal wedding revelers had managed to loosen my cable ties (such will-power should be impressive) and made off with my Knog, leaving me to ride home without a rear light. Which is illegal, might I add.
So maybe this entry should actually be called “Some Drunk [Obscenity] Stole My Knog”.
Is this what it feels like to own goldfish? Constantly replacing them and praying that they won’t die? Maybe it’s time for a hamster.